Part 6

He started to say how he never thought I would do something like that, I am not a bitch. I was wasted so I just drank more vodka and started to hug him, saying I was sorry. It was all Niall’s Fault and he was forcing me to kiss him. Zayn’s eyes had a Red glint in them. He stormed to Niall and punched his Jaw. In retaliation Niall punched Zayn’s Nose, It started to bleed. I was telling them to stop shouting- that it was only a dare. Zayn was OUTRAGED; I’d never seen him so angry. I was crying, I felt like a total bitch- they wouldn’t get hurt if I hadn’t blamed Niall. I begged them to stop shouting. I tried to pull Zayn away. He was fighting me off. I turned away, and then went to the kitchen. Damn, my Bipolar, if only I was normal. These things don’t happen to normal people. I started drinking more Vodka. I ran to Zayn and hugged him. I saw Niall look at me. He was looking at me blankly. I looked at Niall whilst hugging Zayn. I felt so guilty, I started to shake. I felt some arms picking me up. I saw Niall. He hugged me. I said I was so sorry for starting this.

‘I need to confess...’ I nodded for him to carry on, eager to find out what he’d say. ‘I think I love you. Ever since we kissed, well, you kinda completely’ I was shocked. I stood still- my flirting actually got to his head. I hugged him again, but in a more friendly way.

‘I’m sorry for leading you on- but it’s me and Zayn who are supposed to be that way... I love you, but only in a friendly way.’

I kissed his cheek. His cheek was wet and I wiped the tears falling. I hugged him before leaving. I was still crying as I tottered to find Zayn, who was punching a wall. He had tears streaming down his face. I went up to him and kissed his cheek. He glared at me.

‘Why, why, oh, why, did you do that?’

‘It was just a dare,’

‘I saw how you entered with him; I was sitting on the stairs. It was like you and him were an item.’

I stuttered... I tried to find some air to breathe...

‘Yes, its true- but I’ve never loved him in such a way... I’d forgive you if you were to do the same.’

Zayn grabbed a girl by the arm and snogged her full on. It seemed ages before they stopped. Zayn looked at me. She stared at him bewildered and started to giggle as she walked away. I felt hot tears sting my eyes.

‘You... Zayn... are the lowest of low.’

‘What goes around comes around. Forgiven?’

I laughed and slapped his face. He didn’t even flinch to my surprise, even though my handprint was printed on his face. I walked off to find my coat... I felt someone reach for my hand but I tugged it away. I rushed for my coat and left, reaching for my phone to call for a cab. I felt someone behind me- hug me sideways. I looked up to see Niall. I smiled.

‘I barely know you, yet I feel like I’ve know you forever’ I said

‘I guess that’s because we create the best and the worst memories when we were together.’ He said.

 I pulled away, and looked at his face I smiled at him and nuzzled my face in his coat. I felt him stoke my hair.

‘I wish I never kissed you- you and Zayn would still be one’

‘All things happen with purpose.’

I looked deep in his ocean blue eyes. I felt myself draw in for a kiss. It was as if stars exploded in our mouths. I kissed him until I was breathless. I kissed him until I saw stars. I kissed him with anger at Zayn, excitement at my new life with Niall, and surprise at how much I liked him. After the kiss I closed my eyes. Everything seemed wholesome again. I felt Niall stroke my cheek.

‘I love you Niall, but i just can’t rush into another relationship’

He smiled and replied ‘we can get to know each other- become friends. How does that sound?’

He turned around and started to text- i felt kind of akward then. I suddenly felt my phone vibrate- it was a text from Niall. I looked at him and smiled. I opened it. ‘but i will never stop loving you. Ever. Xxx<3<3’

I kissed his cheek, and went just when I heard the cab arrive. I said bye to Him. I felt Sad when I told the cabbie where my home was. I looked at the time. It was 10pm- it was pretty early. I looked at my phone. I opened my old texts from Lover Boy. I looked at my oldest text, when we were meeting up; it was the early days when we first started to date. It said ‘VAS HAPPENIN’? Get beautiful for me tonight. I need to see that pretty stunning face of yours. Love you, Ms Malik xxxxxxxxxxxxx’. I actually loved him. And love is a pretty intense word to use, but I seriously loved him. I felt my phone vibrate. It was a text from Zayn-

 ‘I am so sorry for being such an ASSHOLE. FML, it is nothing without you. I wish I’d never been that way with you. I understand that I was a dare- I was just drunk and angry- such a crap combo. I FUCKING love you till death does us part. I’d understand if I and you are over. Xxx<3<3<3’

I replied ‘I don’t know if were over, but I still love you because you were my first ever true love. But it just doesn’t work like that but I love you too. Speak later? xxx<3<3’

I pressed the send button. I was sick of my life. I got off and payed the cabbie his money, not forgetting to give him a tip. I walked out and opened the door. I walked in and just collapsed. I started to quiver and felt myself cry. I cried and cried, until it became unbearable. I reached in pocket to take a pill. I took another. And took 3 more. I drank some vodka and went to sleep on the floor, not bothering to take off my shoes or coat. I fell into a deep sleep I knew all too well...

Part 5

Sophia Part 5

I woke up, to find 2 unread text messages- and I remembered I fell asleep whilst reading them. I opened the ne from Louis: ‘Are you still coming? Hope you are xx’ I replied with ‘course dude- wouldn’t miss it for the world xx’. I glanced at the last text- it was from an unsaved number. Opening it I read ‘Hey, its Niall- remember from the shop? Yes, I got your number off Freddie. Are you going to Louis’ Party? X’. I smiled at the effort of him to get my number and sent ‘Yes. Catch up later. See ya! X’

I sighed and checked the time- 10 am on a Tuesday. Excited as hell I decide to take a shower, but a sudden change of heard made me opt for a bath instead. I stayed in there until the water went cold. I towel dried my hair appreciating it’s waviness that complemented my long, blonde hair. It was the same hair as my Nan’s.  I dried the rest of my body with my hair drier appreciating the warmth it radiated.  I looked up at the clock and saw the clock lean towards 2. The party started at eight so I decided to get something to eat. I trudged downstairs in my hoodie and leggings. I turned to the kitchen to find some porridge. I microwaved some and went to watch TV- Dad was at work, D was at school. I texted Dad saying I’d pick D up. I grabbed my porridge and started eating slowly thinking about Niall’s text. He seemed so interesting. I heard a THUD outside. I looked out the window to see Edward sheepishly grinning at me. Edward was with a blonde guy, whom looked up and I saw Bluey Green eyes. I smiled at the recognition of Niall. I walked out to greet them.

‘Hey Niall! What’s up?’

‘Nothing, just moving in- how are you dear?’

‘Bored, and trying to eat porridge.’ I smiled as I saw him grimace when I said the word porridge.

‘Well, wanna come in. There’s plenty of room.’

‘Yeah sure. Lemme just lock the door.’

I closed the door and walked into Niall’s House- amazed at the beauty of the colours. They were almost identical to his eye colours- blues, greens, and purples. It reminded me of one of those homes in the B&Q adverts.

‘Nice house- it so... beauty-filled’

He smiled and thanked me. I went and hugged him and told him it was my pleasure

‘AWWW, someone’s getting it on’

I blushed at the fact that Edward was there and the fact he was my Ex- but partly because it did seem kind of Lovey-Dovey. I looked at Niall and saw him blush a rosy colour.

‘OI, she has a Boyfriend yanno!’ Edward Exclaimed.

Niall blushed a deeper red and I told him not to worry and that I had no feelings in that way. He smiled and squeezed my hand which I was surprised to see him holding.

‘Anyway imma leave you love birds alone to get some tea.’ He chuckled to himself.

‘Loser.’ Niall sighed. I nodded in agreement- Edward was too clingy and protective- partially the reason why I left him.

‘You do know...right...’

‘YEAH obviously. I just broke up with my Ex so I am still sore.’

 ‘Oh...’ I said- it kind of made things seem awkward.

I looked at the massive clock on the wall to see it was already 3pm. I excused my self and kissed Niall’s Cheek.

‘Want me to pick you up later- we can go to Louis’ party together. If you want that is.’

I explained that Zayn would chauffeur me, but thanked him for offering.

‘S’later then’ I said.

I ran to my house and got changed. I slipped into my car and switched on the heater, appreciating the warmth. I arrived at D’s School at 3:27pm and made my way to her class.

‘Delilah, Sophia’s here to pick you up’

She raced toward my direction and Bear hugged me. I smiled and hugged her back.

‘How was your day D?’

‘Fine, how about you?’

‘BOOORING, without you,’ I told her as I walked over to my car. She jumped in the passenger seat and I told her I would take her for a treat. I drove her to the shops and bought her a lollypop. She licked appreciatively, beaming at me. We drove home to find Dad at home, cooking. I ran upstairs to take my pill and trudged downstairs. I grabbed my phone and read my texts. There were two, one from lover boy and one from Niall.

I opened Zayn’s First, and I was surprised to read: ‘sorry babes can’t make tonight- got a dancing comp. I was a stand in for Marco. MY TIME TO SHINE xxx’ I replied ‘aww, good luck dear- go kill them with your moves!’

I opened Niall’s finding a hint of a smile on my face. ‘Heyy, nice seeing you earlier- sorry for Edward. He’s really annoying- I heard you once upon a time dated. :’) AWWWWWW! Xx’ I love how he progressed from one kiss to two. He seemed really cute. I replied: ‘Zayn’s not picking me up- he has a dance comp. Is it too late to accept your offer? Xx’

I ran upstairs when I saw it was 5:30pm. I had a shower, then carefully towel dried my sweet smelling hair and then looked in my cupboard looking for something to wear. I found a white lacy flower dress and some red high heels. I applied red lipstick and some eye shadow. I found a pearl necklace. I felt my phone vibrate. It was Niall. ‘Yeah sure- see you at 7:30pm? Xx’ I smiled and typed ‘7:30 it is’.

I looked at the time- 7pm. I took a pill and decided to look for a decent purse. I found a white clutch. I shoved my phone, keys, money, make up and pills. I whispered to myself- just in case. I took some vodka. I heard a knock at my door. I opened it to see a very handsome looking Niall. He was dressed in a polo shirt and military boots. His jacket was cream and made his eyes look so beautiful. I hugged him and inhaled. Mmmm, I smelt Armani Mania- my favourite aftershave.

‘Wanna get going?’ he asked

‘Yeah sure.’

We walked down the street and were deep in conversation- about his move, his history, my history. We suddenly saw Louis’ house. I looked at Niall and held his hand. I smiled up at his face, which softens into a smile- similar to mine. We walked to Louis’ house and knocked. He opened the door and smiled instantly when he saw us.

‘You look beautiful- and you’re not too bad yourself Sophia,’

Niall punched Louis’ arm and walked in leading me in. He looked at our down, we were still were holding hand. I snatched my hand from his and walked in. I took off my coat and chucked it next to the banister. I held onto my purse. I walked into the kitchen to find a glass. There were now shot glasses so I gave up and drank straight from the bottle. I walked into the living room to see about 20 people sitting on the carpet playing spin the bottle. I sat down in the circle next to Niall. I looked at him and he smiled.

‘Whoever the bottle lands on has to kiss. No gay/lesbian is allowed.’ Said Freddie.

He span the bottle. It landed on Becca. She blushed deeply and we all laughed at her.

We span the bottle and it landed on Jake. He got up eagerly- happy for his prize. They stood in the middle of the circle- and snogged. The boys were wolf whistling and the girls were giggling.

Freddie span the bottle, it landed on me. Niall squeezed my hand as Freddie span the bottle. It landed on Liam.

 I smiled at him. I felt butterflies in my stomach and stood up to kiss him. He smiled, and I knew it wouldn’t be bad. I kissed him softly on the lips. I withdrew and hugged him, and guiltily looked at Niall. He was looking away. I sat down next to him and started to drink the Vodka. Freddie span the bottle. It landed on Niall. I squeezed his arm- returning the favour. The bottle span forever before it landed on... Edward. Edward exclaimed in disgust so the span the bottle again. It landed on me. Again. Me. And. Niall. I swallowed my spit. Everyone was tense. They thought me and Niall were a couple. There was OOOOOOHHH’s being called in the room. I stood up and took Niall’s Hand. I saw him reluctant to stand up- but stood up all the same. I kissed him softly- in the same way as Liam but somehow it got deeper and deeper. It felt like hours before we stopped- both panting softly for air. I smiled at him. His hair was messed up in all directions. Everyone was just staring at us Shocked.

I sat back down- holding Niall’s Hand. I took another swig of Vodka. I started to slur my words. I hugged Niall, leaning into him for support. Everyone kept playing spin the bottle. I stood up to get some air. I took my purse and bumped into someone. I looked up to see a very unhappy Zayn...

Part 4

‘She’s going be fine. She’s just had an episode of mania. She must of missed out a session of pills. She’ll be discharged after we give her this injection and she wakes up.’

I blinked in the harsh white light that i knew all to well. It was the hospital. I looked around to see worried faces, Dad, Alice and  Zayn. They watched me with anxious eyes.

‘Oh darling are you okay? How are you feeling?’ Dad exclaimed.

‘Worried. What happened?’

‘You had an episode of Mania- go knows what brang it on. You might of not taken your pills. Or its just a random comeback. I don’t know.’ His voice breaking at the end.

‘Don’t cry. Its not like i’m... dead.’

‘yes, but i want you to live life at its best. And i think your holding life back because of it.’

I sighed. It was all true. I had to go to the clinic once a week. I had to restrict how much drink and never smoke or take drugs- it could be fatal. People had too hold back what they said, just in case it’d set me off.

Ii have to go now’ Alice explained. I said bye and she scurried away

I glanced at Zayn. He look sad but bored as shit.

‘You guys can go if you want. Its okay.’

‘No way. Not without you. But after you get discharged i need to go Dance classes.’

‘yeah sure’

Dad suddenly chipped in

‘we’ve got new neighbours’

I smiled. I loved meeting new people, i felt like i could start afresh.

A doctor came back in and discharged me, giving me Topagetmal.

‘take the three times a day, for the next month. Make sure never to skip meals and never to drink too much.’

I thanked him and left hand in hand with Dad and Zayn. We go in my car, dad driving, Zayn sitting with me at the back.

‘you still going Louis’ party?’ Zayn asked

‘yeah course!’ i replied, glad i had something to look forward to.

‘AHEM! Lets see how you feel tomorrow’ father interrupted.

I sighed and as we dropped Zayn off at his dance class he kissed my cheek and said he’d text me later.

I switched on my phone and saw 5 text unread. 1 from Zayn asking if i was sound. I replied with ‘xxx thanks so much, means loads xxx’ i had 2 from Indigo- she asked me if i was okay both times. I told her to DW and i’d text her soon. I couldn’t be bothered to open the other 2 so i took my pills and slept what seemed like forever.

Part 3

Shit.  I forgot to take that pill. WHY?! I would be in serious trouble now. Risperdal tablets take 3 times a day. Just take a double dose later. It’s not that bad- it’s not like I’ll start going nuts again. My Bipolar has improved. I don’t need to be checked as often anymore. I showered, still thinking about the pills. I washed and dried my hair.

I grabbed my stuff and took my tablets after drinking my smoothie. I power-walked to the car and glanced at the dashboard and peered nervously at the time. Pheww, 8:15 am. I’d be on time. I drove along whilst listening to Capital Breakfast. I got out of the car and checked into work and went to find Sandy. She sat drink cocoa on the end of a cardboard box. I smiled and asked her what to do. It was my shift on the Tills.

I stood serving all the customers, not bothering to pay attention, when I heard someone yelp my name. It was Chloe. I gasped and waved at her. She came and hugged me. I told her how much I missed her and asked how her holidays were. She told me she was late and had to go. I carried on serving until 1pm when it was my lunch break. I decided to treat myself to some Nando’s.

 I went in and bought some olives and chips and cokes. I hated chicken so just I sat eating with Alice. She was talking about how perfect she and Liam were together. He was cute and all loving. She was blabbing and I was looking into space nodding at the right times, I started to think of Niall and Zayn. I suddenly started to feel sad and start to cry.

Alice just stared at me blankly. I thought how much of a bitch I was to Zayn thinking about Niall. I started to shake uncontrollably and felt like utter crap. Alice was panicking trying to tell everyone to call 999. I shaked and shaked until I blacked out.

Part 2

I woke up, I’d slept like a baby. I glanced at the watch. 8 Am. I got up and showered, feeling all sticky from last night. I washed my hair in herbal essences- Zayn’s favourite smell. I towel dried my long silky hair- happy about its waviness. I chucked on my hoodie. I grabbed my phone and saw I got a text- from ‘lover boy’. I opened it to find ‘Oi beautiful- VAS HAPPENIN’? Missed you loads- missing your smells. Smell you later dear <3xxxx’

I replied: ‘Oi, whaddya mean my ‘smells’ I could write a whole tree about yours. Missing your handsome-ness round here’ and I almost forgot the <3xxxx from laughing at his last text. I picked up my purse and my keys and galloped downstairs. I grabbed a handful of cornflakes and rushed out the door before getting interrogated. I kick-started the car- desperate to get on time to work- 15 minutes to get to a place 30 minutes away. Jeepers creepers in needed to drive as fast as possible without running someone over. I jumped out my car and ran into Topshop. Julia greeted me with an embrace. I smiled and clocked in with 1 minute to spare. I started stocking the shelves when I felt someone wrap their arms around my waste. I turned around- shocked to see Zayn.

‘Hey beauty.’

‘Hey- I told you no sneaking up on me at work- I may get fired because of you’

‘Then I may have to employ you’

He kissed me deep in my neck and nuzzled his nose in my hair.

‘EWWWW. It smells horrid’

I turned around worried, and smelt my hair... it seemed perfectly normal smelling

‘LOL joking- just tryna test how gullible you are. PASS’

I punched his arm, and told him I was busy.

‘tryna punish me by keeping me away from your pretty face, eh?’

‘Don’t worry- I’m missing it just as much!’

He hugged me and left the store.

I turned around smiling, not caring where I was going when I...

‘So sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going. Sorry’ I squealed.

I picked up the things the person had dropped; I stood up to hand them back to the rightful owner. I looked up into sea green with infused blue eyes. They called to me with a familiarity.

‘Thanks, Sophia’ I saw him look at my name tag that sat proudly on my breast.

‘Your welcome’ I replied. ‘Do I know you?’

‘Arm, no’

‘Oh.’ I replied, and died a little.

‘The name’s Niall. I’m new on the block and work just next door in H and M. Getting my best friend a crimbo prezzie ya see.’

‘Ahhh. Well what are you thinking of buying?’

‘Maybe a purse or a bag?’

‘Sure- there’s this really beautiful purse for just £23. It goes with almost everything! She would love it.’

‘Cool, yeah, sure I’ll take it.’ He smiled gratefully. He deffo didn’t know anything about girls and how much they love bags.

 I took him to the check out and scanned the bag. He handed over £25 and told me to take a tip. I thanked him. He smiled and said he’d see me around.

My heart thudded hard all day- part guilt about Zayn but part an interest in Niall. I got home, took a shower, clothed myself and watched TV. I checked my phone to see 3 texts. 1 from Zayn, 1 from Alison and 1 from Louis.

 I opened the one from Zayn first. ‘YO beauty. Need to see you beauty-filled face ASAP! Love your Beast. xxxx’ I chuckled to myself. I replied ‘shall we meet tomorrow after work?! Love you beast. LOL JK, your far from a beast- your a prince<3xxxx’

I opened Louis’ one. ‘Hey, anyone wanna come to my house for a party on Tuesday. Text me if your gonna bring more people. And if you cant make it. WHAT A SHAME! X’ Louis always could make me laugh- no fail at that. He was never one joke too short. ‘Yeah, I’ll come since your begging. And I will bring my Nan. She loves to PARTY HARD. Xx’

I checked the text from Alison: ‘OI, long times no speak. We need to catch up. Gonna go Louis Party? Meet you then xx’ I smiled at the thought of seeing her again ‘yeah, I am. How was your holiday in Lapland! Hope it was S’LOADA’FUN! Xx’

I raced upstairs, done the routine and went to sleep. But one thing is I forgot my pills.

Part 1

its cold this time of year. i really couldn't be bothered to get up and switch on the central heating. too much work. i just covered myself up with my coat. i looked out the window. saw loads of people shouting and screaming. i sighed inwardly. they were having another party. Sean was a pratt, who smoked weed all day and raved all night. and it didn't help that he fancied me.
'OI SOPHIA, GET UP OFF YOUR LAZY ASS.'
i cursed my dad under my breath for making me stand up.
'Vas Happnin'?'
'you've been obsessed with that saying, proves you spend waaayy to much tim with your lover boy.'
i punched his arm childishly. he was a plank at times like this. but i loved him all the same. he was the only parent i had.
'where's D?' i asked Dad.
she's just sleeping. she's so cute asleep.
i smiled. i love D at this age- she wasn't too annoying just right for a 5 year old.
i slouched upstairs to hear the sound of my little sister snoozing. FML- she was a loud girl. i walked in her bedroom weary that her barbie doll seemed to be giving me what looked like evils. i went and kissed her cheek. she turned over weary of my presence. i hugged her tenderly- as if i would never let go. she was so cute and wish she could stay forever young.
i walked out (don't worry- i gave the barbie doll the fingers) then walking down the corridor being careful of not making a sound whilst on the mission to find my PJ's.
i slipped in them, not bothering to shower, brushed my teeth, took my pills, then bounced on my bed- groaning at the strain of my weight, suddenly feeling fat. i slept slippping into a dream filled with candyfloss and clouds