He started to say how he never thought I would do something like that, I am not a bitch. I was wasted so I just drank more vodka and started to hug him, saying I was sorry. It was all Niall’s Fault and he was forcing me to kiss him. Zayn’s eyes had a Red glint in them. He stormed to Niall and punched his Jaw. In retaliation Niall punched Zayn’s Nose, It started to bleed. I was telling them to stop shouting- that it was only a dare. Zayn was OUTRAGED; I’d never seen him so angry. I was crying, I felt like a total bitch- they wouldn’t get hurt if I hadn’t blamed Niall. I begged them to stop shouting. I tried to pull Zayn away. He was fighting me off. I turned away, and then went to the kitchen. Damn, my Bipolar, if only I was normal. These things don’t happen to normal people. I started drinking more Vodka. I ran to Zayn and hugged him. I saw Niall look at me. He was looking at me blankly. I looked at Niall whilst hugging Zayn. I felt so guilty, I started to shake. I felt some arms picking me up. I saw Niall. He hugged me. I said I was so sorry for starting this.
‘I need to confess...’ I nodded for him to carry on, eager to find out what he’d say. ‘I think I love you. Ever since we kissed, well, you kinda completely’ I was shocked. I stood still- my flirting actually got to his head. I hugged him again, but in a more friendly way.
‘I’m sorry for leading you on- but it’s me and Zayn who are supposed to be that way... I love you, but only in a friendly way.’
I kissed his cheek. His cheek was wet and I wiped the tears falling. I hugged him before leaving. I was still crying as I tottered to find Zayn, who was punching a wall. He had tears streaming down his face. I went up to him and kissed his cheek. He glared at me.
‘Why, why, oh, why, did you do that?’
‘It was just a dare,’
‘I saw how you entered with him; I was sitting on the stairs. It was like you and him were an item.’
I stuttered... I tried to find some air to breathe...
‘Yes, its true- but I’ve never loved him in such a way... I’d forgive you if you were to do the same.’
Zayn grabbed a girl by the arm and snogged her full on. It seemed ages before they stopped. Zayn looked at me. She stared at him bewildered and started to giggle as she walked away. I felt hot tears sting my eyes.
‘You... Zayn... are the lowest of low.’
‘What goes around comes around. Forgiven?’
I laughed and slapped his face. He didn’t even flinch to my surprise, even though my handprint was printed on his face. I walked off to find my coat... I felt someone reach for my hand but I tugged it away. I rushed for my coat and left, reaching for my phone to call for a cab. I felt someone behind me- hug me sideways. I looked up to see Niall. I smiled.
‘I barely know you, yet I feel like I’ve know you forever’ I said
‘I guess that’s because we create the best and the worst memories when we were together.’ He said.
I pulled away, and looked at his face I smiled at him and nuzzled my face in his coat. I felt him stoke my hair.
‘I wish I never kissed you- you and Zayn would still be one’
‘All things happen with purpose.’
I looked deep in his ocean blue eyes. I felt myself draw in for a kiss. It was as if stars exploded in our mouths. I kissed him until I was breathless. I kissed him until I saw stars. I kissed him with anger at Zayn, excitement at my new life with Niall, and surprise at how much I liked him. After the kiss I closed my eyes. Everything seemed wholesome again. I felt Niall stroke my cheek.
‘I love you Niall, but i just can’t rush into another relationship’
He smiled and replied ‘we can get to know each other- become friends. How does that sound?’
He turned around and started to text- i felt kind of akward then. I suddenly felt my phone vibrate- it was a text from Niall. I looked at him and smiled. I opened it. ‘but i will never stop loving you. Ever. Xxx<3<3’
I kissed his cheek, and went just when I heard the cab arrive. I said bye to Him. I felt Sad when I told the cabbie where my home was. I looked at the time. It was 10pm- it was pretty early. I looked at my phone. I opened my old texts from Lover Boy. I looked at my oldest text, when we were meeting up; it was the early days when we first started to date. It said ‘VAS HAPPENIN’? Get beautiful for me tonight. I need to see that pretty stunning face of yours. Love you, Ms Malik xxxxxxxxxxxxx’. I actually loved him. And love is a pretty intense word to use, but I seriously loved him. I felt my phone vibrate. It was a text from Zayn-
‘I am so sorry for being such an ASSHOLE. FML, it is nothing without you. I wish I’d never been that way with you. I understand that I was a dare- I was just drunk and angry- such a crap combo. I FUCKING love you till death does us part. I’d understand if I and you are over. Xxx<3<3<3’
I replied ‘I don’t know if were over, but I still love you because you were my first ever true love. But it just doesn’t work like that but I love you too. Speak later? xxx<3<3’
I pressed the send button. I was sick of my life. I got off and payed the cabbie his money, not forgetting to give him a tip. I walked out and opened the door. I walked in and just collapsed. I started to quiver and felt myself cry. I cried and cried, until it became unbearable. I reached in pocket to take a pill. I took another. And took 3 more. I drank some vodka and went to sleep on the floor, not bothering to take off my shoes or coat. I fell into a deep sleep I knew all too well...
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